Welcome to the Phoenix Project, which offers support to survivors of child sexual abuse and also aims to raise awareness of this otherwise controversial issue.

I believe that there is a lot of secrecy surrounding sexual abuse and incest, and that this contributes to the sense of seclusion, loneliness and hopelessness that each victim doubtlessly feels, perhaps even years after the abuse stops. For this reason, I have told my story of child abuse over and over again in the media, shining the spotlight, throwing my arms in the air saying: ‘me, yes, it happened to me’.

I have been humbled by the public’s response. When society rushed in to reward me for stepping forward, and when I was able to properly start up the Project with a couple of national awards and several media appearances behind me, I thought,

“Every victim and survivor needs to know about this. They need to know that it’s okay. They need to know that they are not looked down upon, or disgraced, or outcast by others because of what happened to them.”

Most importantly, you need to know that you are not alone. I’m a survivor, and I’ll be proclaiming as such for the rest of my life. I want to be an example of how glorious life can still be in spite of being a former victim.

I use the term ‘victim’ for anyone who is currently being abused, or for whom the abuse has stopped but the cycle goes on. These people may go on to marry an abuser, or to become one themselves, or otherwise ruin their lives in some other way related to being unable to healthily deal with the past. The literal abuse may have stopped for them, but the self-torment has not and, as victims, it overcomes them.

I use the term ‘survivor’ for those who have identified the potential to fall into that trap, and who have consciously come to a decision to put their very best effort into developing as full and magnificent people, capable of living meaningful and happy lives. The sexual abuse of children is not natural or lawful or justifiable. It’s a tragedy that can ruin the lives of generations of people. Survivors realise this, and they realise also how easy it is to become withdrawn to an existence that is forever dictated by the past. They know what they’re up against and what’s expected of them. Still, somewhere along the line, a survivor has thought ‘no, I will not be a tragic statistic. I will be happy. I have had experiences that mean that being happy is difficult for me, but I will not be consumed by them, I will be free.’

I know how it feels and I know how hard it can be. To keep it brief – which I seldom do – if I, in reaching out to others, can compel even a single person to make that all-important transition from victim to survivor... If I can contribute to the development of a resilient mindset, then I am happy, and you deserve to be too.

Siobhan Pyburn